WASTING OUR TIME ON THINGS WE CANNOT CONTROL

WASTING OUR TIME ON THINGS WE CANNOT CONTROL

When life becomes difficult, we often hear the same piece of advice:

“Focus on what you can control, and don't wear yourself out over things you cannot change.”

We are all familiar with this idea, one of the central principles of Stoic philosophy. Yet there is often a considerable gap between knowing what we should do and actually putting it into practice.

Today, there is something that makes this even more difficult:

“We are constantly bombarded with information.”

We start our day by checking our phones. We read a news story, click on another link, and before we know it, we find ourselves exploring subjects we were never particularly interested in. For example, a news story about Bitcoin might lead us to the history of money, which then takes us into the world of economic systems. Before long, we have spent half an hour jumping from one Wikipedia page to another. All we intended to do was spend a few minutes browsing.

But what have we gained after spending all that time? Often, very little. Much of what we have learned makes no meaningful contribution to our lives. It does not solve any of our problems or change the way we think. It simply gives our minds more things to dwell on.

Yet time, as our ancestors often reminded us, is one of the most valuable things we possess. We can earn back money we have lost, repair a broken object, and even rebuild some damaged relationships. But we cannot bring back lost time. When we spend an entire day reading unnecessary news, watching pointless television series, following arguments on social media, or endlessly searching for information, that day is gone forever.

Despite this, we are often unaware of how easily we waste our time. We try to keep up with every piece of bad news around the world. We become curious about the social media accounts of old friends or former partners and spend time looking through their posts. Sometimes, we even watch television programs that do not interest us simply to pass the time. Then, when evening comes, we ask ourselves:

“What did I actually do today?”

Perhaps the more important question is:

“Why do we so easily waste one of the most valuable resources we have?”

Our reactions to what other people say and do are another common source of wasted time. We get angry over a few sentences written by a stranger on social media and end up arguing with that person for hours. Sometimes, developments in our country or around the world take over our entire day. Economic crises, financial scandals, wars, natural disasters, political disputes, and social problems certainly matter. We cannot afford to be indifferent to them. But that does not mean we have to carry the weight of every one of these problems on our shoulders.

There is an important distinction that Stoic philosophers repeatedly emphasized:

“The difference between what we can control and what we cannot control in the course of our lives.”

We have a say in our own thoughts, choices, and actions. But we cannot determine what other people will do, change what happened in the past, or decide how the world will develop in the future.

Yet we often tend to spend our energy precisely on the things we cannot change.

What do we gain by spending hours arguing about past pandemics, getting angry over how the world should be governed, or constantly worrying about possibilities that may never even materialize? We may be right about some of these issues. But getting angry alone does not solve anything. Sometimes, we spend the entire day absorbed in such thoughts, only to reach the evening without having done a single useful thing for ourselves or anyone else.

Now, consider a pleasant weekend. We get up in the morning, read a little, write a few pages, have breakfast with our family, and go for a walk together. When we return home, we continue reading and writing, have dinner, and enjoy a good movie. We have not done anything extraordinary. We have not solved the world's problems. But we have spent a lovely day doing things that matter to us and the people we love.

Isn't life, after all, made up of ordinary but beautiful days like these?

Now imagine spending the entire day following bad news, getting annoyed by other people's behavior, and arguing about things we cannot change. By evening, our minds are exhausted and our energy is gone. Worse still, when we look back, we cannot point to anything useful we have accomplished.

The difference between these two days has less to do with what is happening in the world and more to do with how we choose to use our time.

Of course, none of this means that we should turn our backs on the world. Remaining silent in the face of injustice, ignoring social problems, or avoiding our responsibilities is not the answer. But there is an important difference between worrying about a problem and doing something about it. Feeling upset about an issue is one thing; making an effort to solve it is another. We can exhaust ourselves by worrying constantly. But if there is something we can actually do, we can take action and make at least a small contribution.

I believe we should start with what is closest to us. First, with ourselves. Every day, we should try to become a little more knowledgeable, healthier, more patient, and stronger. Then we can extend that effort to our families, friends, and the people around us. Listening to someone close to us, guiding a child, supporting a friend, or making another person's life a little easier may seem like small things. But they can make a real difference in people's lives.

Perhaps we will not live long enough to change the entire world. In any case, expecting one person to solve all the world's problems is unrealistic. But we can make our own lives and the lives of those we love a little better. That alone is no small achievement.

To do this, however, we first need to become aware of how we spend our time. We do not have to read every news story, join every argument, or respond to everything we hear. Nor does chasing every curiosity necessarily make us more knowledgeable or wiser. Sometimes, instead of spending time researching another subject, it may be far better to devote that time to something more meaningful.

This is also where the Stoic understanding of happiness becomes important. If we constantly tie our happiness to other people's behavior, the national agenda, or the direction in which the world is heading, we surrender our peace of mind to forces beyond our control. What we can change, however, are our own thoughts, choices, and actions. That is where our real strength lies.

Perhaps the most important change we need to make in our lives is to stop trying to keep up with everything.

Our time is not unlimited. We do not have to follow every development, take part in every debate, or know what everyone thinks. What matters is making time for the things we genuinely value.

After all, if we truly care about happiness, we must learn to give less importance to many things that distract us from it.

Let us remember: The more time and energy we spend on things we cannot control, the less time we have left to make our own lives better.