BEFORE LIFE GROWS COLD

One of life’s biggest tricks is making us believe that we have plenty of time. We always think we have a little more time. We put off saying what we want to say. We tell ourselves, “I’ll call later,” and leave a friend waiting. We keep looking for the right moment to show someone how much we love them.

But time doesn’t follow our plans. Yesterday becomes today, and today turns into tomorrow. Most of the time, we don’t even notice what we have lost or when we lost it.

Perhaps our deepest regrets come not from the mistakes we made, but from the things we never had the chance to do.

The “I love you” we never quite managed to say...

The visit we kept postponing...

The friend waiting for a call...

A mother or father we never found the time to hug...

We often understand the value of these things only after they are gone.

But some things should not have to be lost before we understand their value.

If we love someone, we should tell them. If we miss someone, we should call. If we want to hug someone, we shouldn’t wait for a special occasion. If we have something to be thankful for, we should say it today.

Because life may not be long enough for us to keep putting our feelings off.

These lines attributed to Can YĂŒcel make us think about exactly this:

Drink in life while it still has its taste

Without letting love grow cold

Without letting passion grow cold

Without letting friendship grow cold

Live it to the fullest

If you love someone, run after them

There isn’t even five minutes to waste

Love people

Without hurting them, without breaking their hearts

There is no time for breaking hearts

Drink your tea

Before it gets cold in the cup

Life is passing

Living can hurt the heart


The word that stays with me most in these lines is “without letting it grow cold.”

Tea is easy to let grow cold. You leave it for a while and its taste changes. If you want, you can heat it up again. But human relationships are not like tea.

A friendship that has grown cold may never return to the warmth it once had. A broken heart may not be easy to mend. A love neglected for years may not always come back to life.

Sometimes all it takes is time.

Sometimes pride.

Sometimes resentment.

And sometimes the weight of all the things we never said...

We are remarkably good at putting love off.

“I’ll call later.”

“I’ll go next week.”

“We’ll talk sometime.”

“Now isn’t a good time.”

“We have plenty of time.”

Perhaps one of the most dangerous things we tell ourselves is this:

“We have plenty of time.”

Do we really?

We have no way of knowing.

This is one of the strange things about life. While chasing after great happiness, we fail to notice the small moments of happiness right in front of us.

We think about the vacation we have been waiting for, yet we overlook the simple pleasure of having a cup of tea with someone we love today. We wait for the day when we finally achieve something important and miss the beauty offered by an ordinary day.

Then, one day, we look back.

And we realize that life was made up less of those great days we were waiting for and more of the small moments we actually lived.

A friend knocking on the door...

Our mother’s voice on the phone...

A child’s laughter...

A cup of tea in the late afternoon...

The familiar smile on the face of someone we haven’t seen in a long time...

Or simply sitting quietly beside someone we love, without saying a word...

These are not insignificant details of life.

Perhaps life itself is made up of exactly these moments.

We often think we will remember the big events. But years later, what stays with us is usually something else: the way someone looked at us, who we laughed with one evening, or which words warmed our hearts.

And then there is hurting people.

One of the easiest things we do in relationships is hurt each other. One of the hardest is winning back the heart of someone we have hurt.

A few words spoken in anger can cast a shadow over a relationship built over many years. It may take only a few seconds to say those words, but years to erase the mark they leave behind.

That is why sometimes silence can be the wisest thing we can say.

Stopping for a moment, taking a breath, and asking ourselves, “What will happen if I say this now?” can save us from many regrets.

Because being right and being happy are not always the same thing.

Sometimes we win an argument but lose the person standing in front of us. In the end, we may still have our sense of being right, but we may no longer have a friend to share things with, a loved one to hug, or someone to talk to.

Of course, this does not mean we should accept every injustice or simply give in. We need to protect ourselves, set boundaries when necessary, and speak up when we are treated unfairly.

But we don’t have to humiliate the other person or wound their dignity while doing so.

This is where maturity begins.

Knowing what to say is important. Knowing what not to say is just as important.

Perhaps one of the simplest lessons life teaches us is this:

If you love someone, don’t wait.

If you miss them, call.

If you hurt someone, make amends.

If you have something to be thankful for, say it today.

If you want to hug someone, hug them.

Because some things really do have an expiration date.

Tea gets cold.

Food gets cold.

A house becomes quiet.

A room becomes empty.

A phone stops ringing as often as it once did.

And sometimes a person quietly leaves our life.

By then, sentences beginning with “If only...” don’t mean much anymore.

That is why we should not keep putting life off until some supposedly better time. If we wait for everything to be perfect, we may end up missing life itself.

The time we have today is, in fact, the most valuable time we possess.

The first thing these lines remind me of is that we should not put love off.

We should show people how much they mean to us instead of waiting for them to somehow understand it on their own. Love is not simply a feeling we carry inside ourselves. It needs to be expressed, shown, and lived.

The second lesson is accepting that time is not unlimited.

We can make plans for tomorrow. But there is no guarantee that tomorrow will be given to us. That is why we should stop constantly handing today over to tomorrow.

Another lesson is not neglecting our friendships and relationships.

Relationships do not take care of themselves. Sometimes a phone call, a short visit, or a sincere “How are you?” can strengthen a bond that lasts for years.

Another important lesson is learning to speak without hurting people.

Once words leave our mouths, they are no longer under our control. We cannot know in advance what kind of mark they will leave on another person’s heart. That is why, especially when we are angry, waiting a little can often be wiser than speaking immediately.

And perhaps most importantly, we should not miss the small joys while waiting for the big ones.

It is a mistake to tie all the beauty of life to major achievements, long vacations, or special occasions.

Sometimes happiness is in the smell of tea brewing in the kitchen.

Sometimes it is in the smile of someone we love...

And sometimes it is simply in a short conversation with a friend we haven’t seen in a long time...

That is why we should occasionally ask ourselves a very simple question:

Did I show the people I love that I love them today?

If the answer is no, perhaps it is not too late.

We can pick up the phone.

We can send a message.

We can knock on a door.

We can say, “I’m here for you.”

We can say, “I love you.”

We can say, “Forgive me.”

Or we can simply sit beside someone we love and have a cup of tea together without saying anything at all.

Because life really is passing.

Tea really does get cold.

People change.

Paths separate.

And time keeps moving, whether we are ready or not.

So let’s live without letting love grow cold, without leaving friendships waiting, without hurting people unnecessarily, and without constantly putting life off until another day.

Because some things can be warmed up again.

But time that has passed never can.

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